The Hardest Words
by Flames Afire
Summary: Goku loved Konzen...He swore that he would never be taken away from Konzen...Unfortunately, fate made it impossible...Konzen regretted something too...What exactly did happened? Well...R&R! NEW CHAPTER, CHAPTER 6! WAHOO!
1. My Sun

Yo, everyone! I'm back! But anyway, I am actually the author of 'I'm sorry, Sanzo…' But it got cancelled! (Sigh) I will be placing it up again…so those who have read that story…please wait a little longer. In the meantime, I have promised those readers that I will create another fanfiction on Saiyuki. So this is my second one. I really hope that you will love this story! Enjoy!

My sun…

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Light shone through the windows, brightening the corridors. Footsteps echoed as Goku walked …he had been finding Konzen for a long time. He had searched everywhere, the garden, his shared room with Konzen, his favorite kitchens, the beautiful and nicely decorated study rooms and many more. Goku sighed, his heart feeling hollow without Konzen nearby.

"Where did my master go?" (sigh) Goku shook his head as he strode up to the last place he had left in his mind. Tenpou's room… 'Maybe he can help me' Goku thought as he brightened up when he imagined his beautiful sun in his imaginative mind.

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Kenren grinned as he heard the arousing moan from Tenpou. "Man…Tenpou…that was a wonderful moan you gave to me…" Kenren said, chuckling when Tenpou's eyes shot open in surprise. He admired the sparkling green eyes that Tenpou had as Tenpou slowly smiled sweetly at him. "Well…I can always change that…" Tenpou whispered softly at his ear, sending chills down his back. "Hmmm…" Kenren pretended to ponder… "maybe you shou-"

"Tenpou! Do you know where Kon-…..what are you doing to Tenpou, Kenren, and what are you doing here?" Goku questioned, he could feel puzzlement rise up in him. Kenren felt his frustration as he whirled around to face the naïve boy.

"Oh hell! Why must you always ruin everything…this moment was the best!" Kenren growled and heard a soft laughter next to him. "Maa…Maa…Kenren…at least it was not some other general…we would have been dead meat." Tenpou stretched as he buttoned his shirt while he walked to his messy table filled with thick books. Kenren grumbled and quickly put on his shirt while he turned his attention to Goku finally.

"Yea…baka saru, what did you want?" Kenren stood to his full height, running his hand in irritation over his crimson hair. Goku pouted as he glared at Kenren.

"I am not a baka saru!"

"Oh yea? Well…I am sure surprised!"

"Urusai, erro kappa!"

"What did you call me you, baka saru!"

"I called you a-"

"Maa…Maa….let us stop arguing, hold hands and be at peace with each other…"

"Hmpf! Hold hands with a baka saru, I think not, I rather hold hands with y-"

"Erro Kappa! I will…oh yea! What were you doing to Tenpou earlier?"

Kenren slapped his hand to his forehead. "Do you know that you change the subject very abruptly?" Suddenly, Kenren grinned evilly, his eyes full of mischief. He went to Goku and placed his hand on top of Goku's head. "Why…baka saru…what I did to Tenpou is called Physical Exercise also known as PE…and you know what…I think you should do something like that to Konzen…"

"Do PE with Konzen? But why…"

"Oh because you do love your master, don't you?" Kenren leaned nearer…

Goku stared back, his golden orbs filled with puzzlement. "Yes, I will do anything for him…"

"Then, just do this…" Kenren said as he abruptly reached behind himself, and grabbing the shocked Tenpou who had been listening in on their conversation. He then pulled Tenpou into a demanding kiss. Goku's eyes widened as Tenpou moaned a little. Kenren then pulled away, breathing a little hard. Panting, he breathlessly asked Goku, "So do you understand…I am sure Konzen will love it…I can guarantee it even…but of course…you better not tell Konzen about me teaching you this…otherwise he will kill me…" Kenren mumbled the last few words to himself.

"He will-what?"

"Nothing…now what is it you came here for in the first place…"

"Oh yes! I was finding for Konzen, but I searched all over and I can't find him…do you guys know where he is?"

"Hmmm…well…saru…I don't know…"

"Goku…I think he is right now currently having a conversation with his aunt, the Goddess Of Mercy. But I think that by the time you arrived back at your shared room with him in say…ten minutes later…he will come back…"

"Really, Tenpou, you sure?"

"Positive." Tenpou smiled gently at the small boy.

"Thank you! Then, I shall be going now. Bye!"

"About time…" Kenren mumbled as Goku closed the door with a 'click'.

"Well…actually…are you sure, it is safe to make Goku kiss Konzen? You know, he will come after you first and you will be dead duck definitely…"

"Don't worry, love…shall we continue?" Kenren gave his lover a wicked grin as he slowly pushed Tenpou to the floor. Tenpou sighed and gave in to his lover….

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In the meantime, Konzen waited impatiently for his aunt to speak. His eyebrows rose as his aunt sighed, watching the flower petals float down to touch gently onto the water surface, disrupting the peaceful, and still water. "Well?" Konzen scoffed in annoyance.

"This is regarding your pet, Goku…to get straight to the point…five years from now…he will no longer be your pet. He will be a teenager nearing adulthood by then. However, this is not his granted freedom from the chains he has around his wrists. He will still be chained and he…will be the new warlord as by then, Nataku will be properly used up…"

"And?" Konzen pursued on, feeling the dread already but he kept his face emotionless.

"And…he will address you as 'sir' from then on and cannot come in contact with you unless he needs to inform you of his missions…you cannot go to him either…for it seems…the Gods were afraid that by then…you two will become even more close to each other…and Goku might go against them. So that's why this is issued now…"

"Is that all I need to do?"

"Yes…"

"Ch- Then, I shall go now, bye…"

His aunt watched as Konzen strolled away, she knew that he was feeling terrible inside. 'Maybe I shouldn't have given him Goku and always thinking about changing things from what they are…but…I guess I am too late…' His aunt thought sadly as she watched the still waters once more.

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	2. Sadness

This is the next chapter…please review! I will really highly appreciate it….if not, I might be hesitant to continue this story…Anyway, the story gets more interesting later…so enjoy!

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Sadness

Konzen took in a deep breath as he faced the door to his shared room with his pet. 'He will no longer be my pet five years from now…' Konzen could not help but feel the loneness in him, the hollowness which he had when Goku was not around. 'Goku will become a warlord…he will sustain a lot of injuries…and there is nothing I do about this…' Konzen gritted his teeth in anger, his hand grabbed the doorknob hard, his knuckles turning white…but he slowly cooled down and opened to door to face his noisy pet…

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"Konzen! You are back just as Tenpou said. Ten minutes exactly, wow!" Goku jumped onto Konzen, his innocent, golden orbs stared deeply into Konzen's violet eyes. Konzen carried Goku, mumbling about Goku's weight and the amount of food Goku ate that make it happen.

"Konzen! I am not fat!" Goku pouted and Konzen could feel a smile tugging at the corner of the mouth. Instead, he frowned and dropped Goku onto the floor. "Iitai! What did I do?"

"Urusai! Baka saru!" Konzen took out his infamous, merciless fan and whacked onto Goku's head numerous times. Konzen thought 'I won't be able to do this when Goku grows up to be a warlord…I will miss this…damn…' Suddenly, Konzen noticed that there was a particular glint in Goku's eyes. "Goku…what have you been doing lately, you didn't cause trouble, did you?"

"No…but I want to try something with you. Now…er…can you hold me please…"

"What! No!"

"But Konzeennnn…." Goku flashed Konzen his best innocent look.

"Tsh! Fine, whatever." Konzen mumbled under his breath as he lifted Goku onto his lap. "What now, baka saru…"

He watched in amusement as Goku scrunched up his face in concentration like as if he was trying to remember something. Then suddenly, Goku pulled him forward and he felt a light brush against his lips. Konzen felt like his heart had stopped, his pet was kissing him!

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Goku did not know why, but he enjoyed what he was doing. He had felt Konzen stiffened a little but he did not care. 'I love you, Konzen, I want to be with you forever, always, and I swear no one will take me away from you…I swear…' Goku knew he would remember this often and he was happy…for he would always be with his master…

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Five years later…

Goku looked out sharply, his golden eyes taking in the sights in front of him and not missing out any details. Despite the lack of sunlight, his vision was not affected at all. His hair had grown a little below shoulder length. His body was well-built, due to his constant 'exercise' by fighting the demons. Blood was everywhere; bodies littered the area he stood at. Behind him, he could sense the heaven army. They would not help him at all, Goku knew that well enough…he had that experience for the first time and it was nothing that he could have ever imagined.

_"No! Don't take me away from Konzen! I want to be with him! I want-" Goku struggled desperately, reaching out to Konzen but Konzen had simply looked away, and his face was expressionless. Goku screamed out Konzen's name and he saw Konzen flinched slightly. Goku had then felt his world darkened and he had passed out as one of the guards had used a blunt object to hit him over the head. Last thing, he had heard was someone shouting his name…_

_ That day, he was named the new warlord. He had stood before God himself and was forced to be assigned to his first task. That was to destroy the demon which was nicknamed by the humans, 'the death of hell'. This was because that demon had killed millions of weaker demons and humans as well. He ripped their limbs apart, broke their bones, torturing them and enjoyed hearing their death screams. Later, he then devoured them, leaving only the bones with not a single flesh left…_

_ Goku had then faced that demon by himself. He had thought that the heaven army would help him…but he was so wrong that that mistake nearly caused him his life. 'So that was how Nataku lived his life…' Goku had thought that time when he finally passed out from the loss of blood after defeating the terrible demon._

_ When he had gone back to heaven, he was thrown to his own room. Kenren and Tenpou had found him, wavering between life and death, their expressions were shock and dismayed. If not for them, he would have died already and someone will replace him…_

Goku snapped his head up as he could feel the vibrations under him. Soon, he heard the deep, growling sound that erupted into a loud roar which shook the hills even.

This time, he had to fight the worst demon of all, Gyumao…

Goku shifted with ease into his fighting position, his chains moved restlessly. Gradually, the sun rose. Goku took a short glance at the beautiful sun. He thought sadly, 'At least, after I destroy this demon, there will be no other demons that will threaten heaven and Konzen…he will be safe…I will keep him safe…I will do anything for him…just like I told Kenren five years ago…I will do anything…anything at all…'

Goku dashed towards Gyumao…preparing to defeat this demon…

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	3. Goku

Here's the next chapter and I really hope that there will be more reviews! My workload is rather heavy now so it will be some time before I can give you the next chapter. Till then, may you like this chapter!

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Goku…

"Damn it! Goku…he is taking too long!" Kenren growled aloud as he paced to and fro in front of the heaven's gate that lead to the human world.

"Don't worry, Kenren…I will heal him the moment he appears…" Tenpou comforted Kenren as he tried to smile convincingly.

"And that stupid, dumb-ass, Konzen…He did not even went to see Goku when Goku was seriously injured! He merely shrugged when I informed him that Goku nearly died from his multiple injuries from the most recent battle! Oh god! I feel like struggling him!" Kenren yelled as he punched the air.

"Maybe…"

"What, Tenpou…"

"Maybe Konzen has a reason for this…"

"A reason! Pu-lease, open your eyes, can't you see Konzen does not even care for Goku, he is ignoring Goku even! When Goku had to address Konzen as 'sir', Goku had gone into depression after his first battle!"

"Yes…but think, Kenren, Konzen never acts without thinking of the consequences…and I am sure he cares for Goku…there must be a reason…there got to be…" Tenpou said softly as they continued waiting for Goku to come back….

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Konzen stepped back behind the tree. He had heard what Kenren and Tenpou had said. 'Tenpou…how right you are for having a reason…' Konzen thought as he began walking away. He wanted to wait for Goku actually but then…he could not be seen here, otherwise, Goku will get in trouble. 'Tenpou…I leave you to take care of Goku for me…I love him dearly…but…I have no choice….'

Konzen slipped silently back into the study room when…

"So…we meet again…" Konzen froze as he heard the voice. It sounded familiar… 'It couldn't be him.' Konzen thought with growing dread. He turned his head slowly and his eyes widened with shock…it was…him…he had finally been let out…

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Goku panted heavily, blood dripped from his chin. His right arm was broken and so are a few of his ribs. His head had a deep gash. Goku felt like he could barely stand up. His legs were badly scratched and his clothes were torn. Goku gritted his teeth against the excruciating pain he felt all over his body. 'At least I have defeated Gyumao…Konzen will then be…safe…I must go back to heaven…' Goku forced himself to straighten up and bit back a scream, drawing blood from his lips. Slowly, painfully, he staggered past the heaven army who watched him with no sympathy and up back to heaven.

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Tenpou's eyes widened at the horrible sight of Goku. Kenren stopped pacing and rushed forward, supporting Goku just as Goku fell forward.

"Baka saru…have a hold on yourself, Tenpou will heal you…" Kenren soothingly murmured to Goku as he laid Goku gently onto the ground.

Tenpou quickly began his task, using up the stored energy he saved for Goku. Later, most of Goku's wounds were healed. The ribs and Goku's right arm, however, still required a lot of rest for them to heal properly. Tenpou took in a shaky breath as he wiped his sweaty forehead. "This is the best I can do for him, Kenren…" Tenpou readjusted his spectacles.

Goku smiled weakly at Tenpou and whispered, "Thank you…"

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Konzen faced the man he despised most. "What do you want…Homura…" Konzen hissed. Homura smiled lazily, swinging his sword onto his shoulder. "Well…that depends…don't you think so? I want to be the warlord…not many would want that title but I love it…to fight with the demons…and even kill helpless humans if I want…control the heaven army…if I want to…but alas, I have observed that little boy grow up and the change he brought onto you, you are one lucky fellow, aren't you, Konzen. So I thought of something…" Homura dragged Konzen's name.

Konzen felt that there was going to be trouble. "What are you planning to do…Homura…"

"Oh…let's say…I want to repay my revenge and the cause of it which happens to be you…you do remember, right?" Homura stared hard at Konzen.

Konzen remembered…it was like only yesterday…

_"Please…I beg you, don't tell the Gods that I love her…you can do whatever you want with me but please…I beg you, Konzen, don't tell the other Gods!" _

_ "I can't…I'm sorry…but they already know about this issue…I didn't-"_

_ "They know! You told them, didn't you! YOU TOLD THEM! I'll kill you!" Homura was about to latch himself onto Konzen when…_

_ "You are to come with me now! God wants to see you. You will have your punishment and so will the woman you love. If you harm Konzen, I will kill her and I have the right." The guard had threatened him by bringing a knife closer to her throat._

_ "No! Ok! Ok! I will follow you…please don't hurt her…" Homura had quickly followed the guard but as he left, he had turned to Konzen and mouthed the words, "I will cause you misery…I swear!"_

Konzen glared back at Homura. "I have not told the other Gods, Homura, you know that well enough…"

"Maybe I do or maybe I don't but it doesn't matter anyway…because I shall be going now…" Homura flashed him a cold smile before he went out of the room…

Konzen stared at the closed door, something was not right…but what?

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	4. Goku's undying love

Yupyup! This is the next chapter…oh yes, by the way, if any of you watch Fruits Basket, you can read my fanfiction on it called: Kyo, oh, Kyo. Ok? Well, on with this story!

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Goku's love…

Goku walked quietly along the corridor, he still remembered heading towards Tenpou's room to ask about finding Konzen. that time, Kenren taught him, 'Physical Exercise', Goku could not help it, he chuckled. 'I was really naive then but…I actually enjoyed kissing…Konzen…' Goku thought back five years ago…the kiss…it felt so right and good…He remembered vividly the warmth of Konzen's lips and….the thoughts he had…'I love you, Konzen, I want to be with you forever, always, and I swear no one will take me away from you…I swear…' Goku smiled sadly as another thought rang in his head. The horrible reality of Konzen telling him what he was today…

_"Goku…come here…"_

_ "What's wrong, Konzen, you look so sad…" Goku inquired as he snuggled up to Konzen._

_ Konzen had patted his head and then suddenly sharply ordered him to get away from him. Konzen had then roughly pushed him away and slapped him two times across the face. 'At that time…I felt like I was betrayed…I felt like I had died a thousand lives…like I lost my soul…'_

_ Konzen had then said coldly, "You are to address me as 'sir' from now on and you are not to come close to me anymore…you are disgusting…and furthermore, you are now a warlord…so you won't have the same room as me…now leave me in peace…no…nevermind, I will make it easier for you, guards! Come in and take this horrible brat away from me!"_

_ The guards had flooded into Konzen's room and took me away…I still wanted to be with him…even when he slapped me…I…I love him…_

Goku squeezed his eyes shut, trying to forget the painful memories. Then, he collided into someone. "Huh? I'm so sorry!" Goku stepped back and came face-to-face with Homura.

"Homura! It's you!"

"Yes…it's me…nice to see you once again…"

Goku bent his head so that his bangs covered his eyes. He did not want Homura to guess his thoughts. Homura may look clean but Goku had a sharp sense of smell and he knew that there was that familiar smell of blood on Homura. It was the Gods' blood, humans' blood smelled a little sweeter but a demons' blood would smell sour…but a Gods' blood…it was different entirely. Goku narrowed his eyes, 'Homura is murdering the Gods? Shit! I must stop him!' Goku thought with panic as his thoughts drifted to his one and only person he loved with all his heart, Konzen.

Goku looked up and smiled sweetly at Homura. "I'm sorry…I am in a hurry to go somewhere…goodbye!" Goku swiftly strode past Homura but as he rounded the corner, he heard a snicker. He also heard the whispered words that echoed along the walls, "Konzen will die…"

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Konzen paced about in his room, worried about what Homura might do. Suddenly, the door swung open and he whirled around to find Goku, clutching his right arm and panting heavily. Goku's wounds were reopened and blood dripped down onto the floor. Before he could say a word, Goku ran to him, grabbed him and gave him a hard kiss.

Konzen felt some sort of liquid flow down his throat and realized that Goku was giving him something to drink. Konzen struggled but Goku was determined to give Konzen the full dose of the solution. Konzen felt himself go numb and he felt weightless. Goku then let go of him and pushed him into a far corner near the bed. Goku had then given him a bright smile and said softly, "I will always love you, Konzen, always…"

Then, abruptly, Goku cursed very loudly. "Damn it! Where is Konzen? I can't find him…and Homura…he will kill him…shit! I must-"

"Where do you think you are going, Goku?"

Goku pretended to act surprise and dismay. "No…Not…Nothing…Homura…" Goku was now standing far away from where Konzen was leaning against the wall, near the bed. Konzen tried to speak but no words came out of his mouth. He tried to move but he could not even feel his limbs. He tried everything…nothing works. Konzen watched in horror as Goku ran out of the room with Homura close at his heels. 'Homura could not see me…' Konzen thought as he tried desperately to move.

'Oh hell! I must overcome this spell! Goku was trying to protect me and he is seriously injured in his fight with Gyumao, he won't even stand a chance against Homura since he is so vulnerable!' His thoughts screamed at him but after ten minutes, then Konzen finally broke free and ran out of his room to find the baka saru he loved……..

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Goku fought hard with Homura for five minutes. He had successfully led Homura away from Konzen. Now, they were in one of the most spacious study rooms. He winced as he did not manage to escape Homura's sword from slicing at his left leg. Blood flowed out, staining the carpet on the floor…

Then, Goku heard the many guns being loaded and could feel the hairs at his neck rising. The heaven guards had finally caught up with Homura. 'But Homura will kill them, they are helpless against him…and Konzen…Homura will kill Konzen if I die before he does…if that is the case…then…' Goku flung himself at Homura and held Homura tightly against him.

Goku quickly yelled to the guards, "Shoot him! Shoot me as well! Hurry or all of you will die! HURRY!" Goku felt his grip loosen as Homura managed to bring up his sword and was about to swing it down on Goku's head when…Homura shrieked in pain.

Goku felt the intense pain as well…he watched with slight satisfaction as Homura slide down to the ground, dead. He felt himself falling…he saw the guards' grim expression, some were sad, some were filled with awe…but as he fell, he saw something golden and heard his name being called…once more…

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	5. I'll protect you always

This may be my last chapter or…maybe not…depending on your decision. (Evil Laugh) So read on and tell me your decision…

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I'll protect you…always…

Konzen felt like time seemed to stop completely as he helplessly watched the guards shoot at Homura with Goku clinging to him. Goku was sacrificing himself for everyone in heaven… 'He was protecting me…oh God…' Konzen screamed out Goku's name as he shoved his way past the guards and caught Goku. Tears streamed down his face. He did not care anymore, he did not mind dying at all, Goku is dying and with Goku gone, his life was meaningless…

"Goku…you, baka saru…why did you do this…why?? Konzen's voice broke as he sobbed. He could not act indifferent anymore.

Konzen watched as Goku attempted to smile brightly for him. He could see the pain Goku was trying to endure…Goku coughed and blood came out from his mouth. He struggled for a while and managed to have enough control to say his last words.

"I did this…because…I…I…love you…fo…forev…er…" Goku croaked out. Then, Konzen felt Goku's body went limp. Everything melted into the distance. 'Goku is dead…I could not tell him I love him…I wanted…I wan…ted…him…forever…Goku…no…Don't go…Don't leave me…I…I love you!'

Konzen faced up to the ceiling and screamed, "Goku!" It echoed out, making it heard throughout heaven…

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Konzen stared at the bowl of water, stirring the water with his finger. He watched as the water swirl and reflects off the sides of the bowl. Goku had given him this when Goku was alive. 'No! He is alive…he…still…is' Konzen thought fiercely as he made himself remember the past….reliving the past he once took for granted…

_"Naaa…Konzen…do you think this bowl of water looks nice?" Goku asked as he practically stuffed the bowl right under Konzen's face. He had then pulled himself away from the bowl and stared in annoyance at Goku. He was doing paperwork and Goku was getting on his nerves._

_"Urusai!__ Baka saru! I am busy, can't you see?" He had then whacked Goku's head two times._

_"Iitai yo!__ Konzen! I…I just asked you if the bowl was…nice…" Goku whined and began pouting._

_"Yes, YES! The bowl is beautiful, ok?" He had shot Goku an irritated look._

_"Really?"__ Goku had smiled a bright smile at him. He was taken aback that Goku seemed so happy over such small matters._

_"Yes…I mean it…" The moment the words left his mouth, Goku had hugged him._

Konzen shook his head as he came back to reality. 'Goku…will you give me a second chance?' Konzen thought sadly, ' if there is a second chance…I will make sure that this time…I will protect you and love you till the end…

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Well, well, well…so would you readers want me to continue? Or should I….end here? It would be very sad if it ends here, right? Lol…but anyway, tell me what you want and I will give it to you! Want me to continue….for a better or worse ending…or…stop right here…I'll be waiting for your reply! Ja!


	6. Chance

Hello! I 'm back! Heehee! Sorry for not being able to update, I guess you were expecting the continuation, right? (Sheepish smile) Well, I am currently half-way through my exams, so I only can give you this much, really sorry! But enjoy!

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Chance

Five years had past since…time is always faster then the world below them…by now…it was actually sixteen years had past already for the humans below them. Konzen glared as he watched the red-head entered his room. Kenren was very cautious now, ever since the death of Goku, Konzen had slipped into the deep depths of depression, snarling and snapping at everyone within his range.

"What is it!" Konzen growled, frowning, to make the impact of the harshness of his words. Goyjo grinned sheepishly but Konzen saw the sign of mischief in his eyes. "Well? I haven't got all day, you know!"

"Alright! Alright! Actually, it is regarding umm…."

"What Kenren means is, it is regarding a secret which you will proceed to follow us in order to find out and you won't live to regret it." Tenpou entered with a genuine smile on his face. He, too, had something up his sleeves. Konzen glared at both of them and sighed. Fortunately for these two, he allowed them to be with him because he knows they understood how he felt. The anguish and sadness of losing Goku…

Konzen sighed again, muttering as he was literally dragged to a certain place. 'This place is getting more and more familiar…what! Hey!' Konzen became more alert as he realized with growing irritation that he was heading straight for--

"Aaa…you managed to bring him here, Kenren, Tenpou, congratulations! This is a hard achievement, we must celebrate!" Konzeon gave Konzen a wink as Konzen yelled, "Urusai! Noisy aunt…"

"What do you want from me?" Konzen snapped in anger.

"Oh, let's see, about whether you have interest in getting your greatest wish to come true?"

"I have no wish."

"None at all?"

"Except one…and it cannot be granted..." Konzen spat as he looked away.

Konzeon chuckled, "It shall be granted then…since we all know what you are thinking…"

Konzen eyes widened in surprise and shock, he thought, 'Granted? Does that mean that he will see Goku again? Will he have his chance?' Konzen looked at his aunt, Kenren and Tenpou…He hoped that his wish would come true…


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